breakin’ spring.

 

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the girls and Brendan on Easter Sunday. I have NO idea how Brendan got in the car without me noticing what shirt he had on…at least he had on a costume at church

 

Brendan got out of school last Thursday and goes back to school next Monday, however, his dad and I split holidays and he went to the beach with them today. I already miss that boy so much. We had very little access to a vehicle over his spring break, my grandmother stayed with us this week but because my sister’s vehicle is not working, she is having to use my grandmother’s car. Being as Kasey’s job is much closer to my grandmother’s house than our house, she has been staying out there. So, we haven’t had a busy agenda by any means this week. I know that Brendan probably wished that he could have done something much more exciting but I have really enjoyed just hanging out with my boy doing hardly anything this week. We did have some fun over the weekend celebrating Easter and the kids really had a good time.

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hunting eggs at grandma’s

 

 

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having more fun finding eggs

 

 

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things are getting more serious

 

Friday, Brendan and Ansley decorated Easter eggs and then on Saturday they went to an egg hunt at the church and had a great time. Brendan decided that he was too old to hunt Easter eggs this year, so he helped hide them instead. They also had a cookout and had a giant inflatable slide for the kids. They got home by mid-afternoon and Brendan, my dad and I watched a couple of movies (it was raining hard outside); we watched, European Vacation, Now and Then, and Vegas Vacation…Clark Griswold could brighten any day. For supper, my dad made pork chops and they were really great.

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hanging out with Ansley

 

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here they come

 

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being silly on Ansley’s scooter ; )

 

Sunday was a really fun day. My mom and Brendan were in the Easter play and Brendan was the only kid in the church who had a speaking part and he did great! I was so proud of him! After church we went and hung out at my grandma’s house and all the kids, including the neighbor’s kids (Ava and Nora). Brendan even decided that he wanted to hunt eggs…I think maybe it had more to do with him wanting candy ; ). After we got home the girls and I made a cake and then it was about time for bed.

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Ansley and Brendan shooting their bb guns.

 

This past weekend just flew by so fast and so did the last few days. I know that Brendan was so excited to go to the beach today, but again, I miss him. I am home alone today and the house is so quiet…and I don’t like it. I remember sitting in this same chair all week and getting upset because Brendan and the girls were just so loud and now I would give almost anything to hear their loud little voices.

I admit, I would much rather be in an air conditioned house than outside sitting in a plastic chair but Brendan and the girls love it out there, they could spend all day outside and love every minute of it. Again, I am complete opposite. However, I make myself go outside and hang out at least one part of every day but I always regret not going outside more. I need to work on ways to make the outdoors more fun. Brendan constantly begs me to go outside and I am going to start saying “yes” more.

In my opinion, I am really great at being, “a yes mom”. If whatever they (Brendan and the girls) are asking to do won’t result in breaking their bones, hurting one another, causing them to bleed, risking their health, or hurting one another’s feelings, I will probably give them permission. Basically, if it is something that is relatively safe and won’t result in the other person getting their feelings hurt, I will probably say yes. So many things are just not worth arguing or fussing over.

Anyhow, here are some things that I want to remember that Brendan said or did over spring break. One day I received a direct message notification from Brendan on my Instagram and I opened it and it simply said, “sweety pie”. One night after he got his heart broke by a girl (her dad told her that she couldn’t talk to boys anymore), Brendan looked over at me and said, “mama, come over here and talk to me and make it all better for me”, and when I came and sat beside him, he got in my lap and I just held him. Another night, Brendan and I were just hanging out in the bed and he said, “you are just so cute that I eat you up”. Yesterday, I took Brendan’s fold out cot outside to lay on it and he laid right next me and we cuddled up. Sometimes, Brendan likes spending time alone but after fifteen minutes of alone time, he comes looking for me. He still doesn’t like me to be out of his sight for too long. I’m sure that there’s more but I just can’t remember them all. Usually, Brendan is all-boy, he is rough, he is tough, and he likes to get his face dirty. However, he can also be THE sweetest little boy ever. I just love him and he makes me proud, always. I still can not believe that I get to call him my boy.

Now, I am looking forward for summer break…it won’t be long . : )

girl crushing.

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When I blogged in the past I held back a lot, in terms of me not sharing too many details about Brendan’s life. Even though he was younger, I still always questioned if the content I posted would be something that would embarrass him in the future and because of that I withheld a lot of personal aspects of our lives. However, I on the other hand, am an open book, nothing in the world embarrasses me anymore. I’ve been through so much in life that nothing really even phases me at all. Nothing is never as bad as it seems in the moment, so there is very little I dwell on. I am very quick to move on.

My blogs were never super popular by any means at all, but I did comment on a couple of other blogs and I would participate in link-ups. I still participate in a link-up but I waited until the very end of the day to link back to my blog so that the possibility of someone viewing my blog was slim and even if they did view it, they would only read that one post. More than likely, they wouldn’t go back and read my posts from the past. I also used to, a lot of times, post links to my blog entries on Facebook, so a lot of my family and friends read it as well…and my Instagram account had a link to my blog in the bio.

Although, now less than a handful of people have access to my blog or know that I even have a blog. Therefore, I enjoy writing so much more because I don’t feel like I have to hold back as much. I still tell Brendan what I post on here and honestly he could care less. His thought is that as long as none of his friends can see it, he doesn’t have any concern with it at all. I wouldn’t mind if my family read my posts (because they already know the story of my life anyway) and I also wouldn’t care if a couple of people that I trust in real life read it. And I do have a few blogs that I would love to comment on, so if they read my blog, I would not care at all. It’s not even like my blog is super special, by ANY truth but it’s our life and Brendan is twelve now and even though he doesn’t mind, I still respect him and don’t want his life blasted all over WordPress. Yet, I want a place to go years from now to look back on our memories, but still, there is a fine line between appropriate and not appropriate. If Brendan was ever struggling with something incredibly personal, you better believe that those details would never grace my blog.

I had absolutely NO intention of turning this post into one about blog privacy or whatever but that’s what it lead into. I had intentions of just writing about an event that happened today, one that I knew I would one day forget the details of if I didn’t document them. So, that’s where I am at now. By now, it’s no secret that Brendan is girl crazy, girls are on his mind all.of.the.time, all day. I allow Brendan to have an Instagram account and that is the only form of social media that he is allowed to have. I have his username and his password, so if I ever need to look at anything suspicious, I have access to it. I like that he has an Instagram account because that is about the only outlet he has to keeping in contact with his friends from his old school, Christ School. He went to Christ from pre-k up until 5th grade (that school only goes up to grade 5). Our family loved, loved, loved, Christ School and we were sad when he left. Needless to say, he made quite a few friends there, so I’m glad that he can still keep in contact with a lot of them thru Instagram.

However, a couple of days ago, a girl named Celina sent Brendan a follow request on his Instagram. Celina does not go to Brendan school, but she is in sixth grade like he is. Like things were when I was growing up, we didn’t have to go to the same school as someone to know who they were. Somehow kids of the same age just intertwine somehow. From the start, Celina “liked” every single one of Brendan s pictures on Instagram and Brendan’s heart just skipped beats over that. Well, tonight Celina went even more crazy over my boy! He went to a wrestling banquet with his dad’s side of the family and came (literally) running and screaming into the house, asking me to give him my phone immediately so that he could sign onto Instagram. Brendan then spent an hour texting her on Instagram!

For the most part they were just casually talking back and forth, but at one point Celina told Brendan that she liked him and he reciprocated by telling her that he liked her. And then the next thing I know, she is telling Brendan that she LOVED him! I told Brendan that if it was his goal to give me a heart attack today, then I was well on my way! I was literally freaking out, especially when I found out that Brendan asked her if she wanted to meet up somewhere. Celina’s response was so funny, she said, “I am not allowed to date yet but we can be girlfriend and boyfriend on the phone and on Instagram”, I thought I would die laughing when Brendan told me that. She also told him not to call her tonight because she was supposed to be asleep and not on her phone, ha!

I can’t think of anything else in particular that they said to each other that stood out. Oh…but Brendan did tell my mom that they were going to be girlfriend and boyfriend on the phone until they were thirteen and fourteen years old and could meet up. I truly thought that I was going to spit my Kool-Aid out of my mouth when he said that! I am happy that they are just talking via phone on Instagram right now instead of him begging to hang out with her in real life. However, even if that were the case, Brendan would still NOT be getting dropped off any place alone, me or either someone else in his family would be tagging alone as well.

I know that Brendan will have relationships in the future. Celina is not the first girl that Brendan has liked and it will not be the last, however, she IS the first girl that has told Brendan that she loved him. Even though neither one of them even know what love is, it almost breaks my heart that Brendan has entered into this stage in his life because I know that he is going to get his heart broken. I wish I could shield Brendan from all the hurt in the world but like almost everything else, pain is inevitable. On one hand I want him to suffer heart break because with it comes self growth and huge life lessons. However, it’s never easy watching your child ,or anyone that you love, suffer heartache.

Goodness, I am tired, it is after one in the morning. I never intended for this post to become this long; I guess I just had a lot to get out tonight. I’m super happy that spring break is now officially here, so I am looking forward to spending the next 5.5 days with Brendan! His dad and I split holidays, therefore Brendan will go back to his dad’s family next Wednesday evening. I know that these next few days with consist of LOTS of talk about Celina, but hey, at this point I am just very happy that Brendan feels comfortable enough to share all of this with me. I know that when I was twelve (or any age) I never opened up to my mom about much of anything, so this is a blessing.

and now it is time to hit my head on my pillows : )

show and tell: my mix tape

gbmixToday I am linking up with Andrea for Show and Tell Tuesdays. Today we are talking about our life’s mix tape. I don’t really have single songs that mark any particular time in my life, if I did, my list would be almost obnoxiously long. Instead, I have fallen in love with certain artists at different times in my life and during those times I just listen to all of their songs on repeat, lol.

When I was in elementary school, I fell in love with Garth Brooks. I loved every single thing about him, his music, his life, his energy…and he was also good lookin’. I listened to every single one of his albums on repeat and when I played “house” with mys sisters and my cousins, I would always be the “mom” and I would pretend that Garth Brooks was my husband…oh, and my “kids” had the same names as his children…I was clearly obsessed. It was crazy. I had Garth Brooks posters, tons of magazines with him on the cover, I wore Garth Brooks shirts…it was insane. When I was in the fifth grade I got to go to a Garth Brooks concert at the Omni in Atlanta, I cried my eyes out as I looked through my binoculars, I was a mess. I still love Garth Brooks to this day but thankfully my obsession with him isn’t as severe as it once was. However, he remains my all-time favorite artist for life, NO ONE could ever top Garth.

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I also liked George Strait a lot at that time and still do but he wasn’t exactly on the same radar that I had Garth on ; ).

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Towards the end of elementary school, I started listening to a lot of Michael Jackson. I had his History albums and loved coming home from school to listen to them.

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I never was much into pop music growing up, when most of my friends were obsessing over Britney Spears or N’sync, I was at home listening to Celine Dion, lol. In middle school I remember listening to her music quite often.

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In high school I listened to a lot of Creed. I also really liked Lifehouse. One summer I went to the beach and met a guy and the song, Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse, reminded me so much of that week spent with him. I was so in love, I was just crazy about that fourteen year old boy (I was fifteen), and I still talked to him years after high school. He is now married and I haven’t heard from him in years but still, every time the song, Hanging by a Moment, comes on, I think back to that time in my life.

After high school, I dated a guy who was about obsessed with the group, Better Than Ezra and I came to really like them, too. It was also around this time that I began to like David Gray. I was able to see Better Than Ezra and David Gray in concert and I had a great time at both. gbcrows.jpg

The Counting Crows are a band that I still love and listen to. They have the best bar music, there’s nothing like hanging out with a good friend, a good drink, and The Counting Crows playing…that always equals a good time.

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Right now I’m listening to Daughtry, I love their songs, Home, September, Over You, and Waiting for Superman. Actually, I fell in love with Daughtry years ago and they have never gotten old. I will probably be sixty years old and still thinks these songs are awesome, lol.

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HOWEVER…with all this said, I DO have a favorite artist for the year and that person would be Justin Bieber…and I’m not even ashamed to say it. I love.love.love Justin. Which is kind of strange because I am not a huge pop fan. I was never overly into boy bands or anything like that. However, I could listen to Justin all day. My favorite songs of his are, “Sorry”, “One Less Lonely Girl”, and “What Do You Mean” and I love his recent album, Purpose. And don’t fear, my love for Justin just started last year, so I was never barely legal mackin’ on a adolescent boy, lol. BUT #bieberFEVER

Anyway, that’s a wrap! I’m excited to now go and look at whatever everyone else said : ).

 

 

q + a

One of my favorite bloggers is Chelsea Phelps, who blogs at Anchors Aweigh, Chelsea recently answered these same questions on a blog post. I thought this was a good writing prompt; I am laying in bed bored, so I figured why not answer these lovely questions to help pass the time. I also want to add that after reading Chelsea’s answers, I have come to the conclusion that Chelsea and I are basically the same person because a lot of her answers are my answers too. This post almost makes me want to move to Virginia where Chelsea lives and beg her to be my friend! However, I think that I am just going to have to settle with stalking her blog instead ; ).

Anyhow, here goes:

1. Are you named after anyone? Yes. I am named after my mom and dad. My dad’s middle name is Kelly and my mom’s middle name is Louise; they put those two names together to form my name.
2. When was the last time you cried? Around a month ago.
3. Do you have kids? One. I am a boy mom to my only child, Brendan.
4. If you were another person, would you be a friend to yourself? It depends…sometimes I like myself and sometimes I don’t.
5. Do you use sarcasm a lot? all.the.time! sarcasm might as well be my second language. Like Chelsea said, I blame Chandler Bing. ; )
6. Will you ever bungee jump? Not unless I am forced to do so. I am terrified of free standing heights, just watching someone on TV up high in the air makes my stomach drop.
7. What’s your favorite cereal? Banana Nut Crunch has been my favorite cereal for as long as I can remember.
8. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Like Chelsea said, I notice if they are wearing a wedding band or not. This is super random and until now I thought that I was the only one who did this.
9. What is your eye color? brown.
10. Scary movie or happy endings? happy endings all day. I can’t even explain how much I hate horror movies. night mares? no thank you.
11. Favorite smells? Brendan’s shower gel, mostly anything that smells tropical, and newborn babies. : )
12. Summer or winter? neither one. I like the transitional seasons so much more, it’s not too hot, it’s not too cold, the weather is just right.
13. What’s the furthest you’ve been from home? my favorite place, Washington D.C. I LOVE American History.
14. If you had to shop exclusively at one store, where would it be? It’s hard to choose. If I was clothes shopping, I would choose Old Navy. For everything else I would choose Wal-mart. If neither store has what I am looking for, then I don’t need it bad enough. problem solved ; )
15. Where were you born? Georgia. #proudtobeaGApeach
16. What are your hobbies? blogging and baking and art.
17. Do you have any pets? nope. I am not an animal lover. I mean, I don’t wish for anything bad to happen to an animal but I don’t bond with them.
18. What’s your favorite movie? hmm. hard choice. It’s a tie between Legends of the Fall and You’ve Got Mail…two completely different movies.
19. Do you have any siblings? Yes! I have three younger sisters.
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? lol…I am 30 so I am already grown by most standards. Truthfully, since the day that I could hold a baby doll, I have wanted to be a mom. My life is so far from perfect, I’m not where I want to be in life, I suffer from a chronic illness, but still, if I died tomorrow, you could say that my wish for life came true twelve years ago. There’s so much that I don’t understand about life, life is far from fair, but I also believe that things really do happen for a reason, and I may not ever know most of those reasons from this side of Heaven and that’s okay.

my favorite surprise.

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the last picture Brendan and I took before my surgery. look at that…he even forced a smile ; )

Brendan and I have probably taken at least 4799873 pictures together, although, I have to add that Brendan is not usually a willing participant ; ). However, these two pictures are some of my favorite ones out of all the pictures we have taken over the past twelve years. The day that we took these pictures was one of the most bittersweet days of my life. At the time, I had been in the hospital for about a month and a half and the plan was for me to go home the following day. Actually, my doctor gave me an option, he said that I could either go home that day or wait until the next morning, which was a Saturday. I called my mom to find out which day would be better and we decided that Saturday would be the best day to be discharged from the hospital, being as it was already 3:00 p.m. and the drive was 3.5 hours one way. Thank goodness we made that choice.

When I was first admitted, I got a horrible infection in my blood. From the beginning, the plan was for doctors to perform a very extensive surgery, but with me having an infection, surgery was definitely not in the cards during that particular time. So, the plan was for me to be discharged from the hospital, take antibiotics for six weeks and then have surgery. However, that is not what happened. That Friday afternoon my infectious disease doctor cleared me to have surgery after they confirmed that I no longer had an infection, though I still figured that surgery would have to wait a couple of weeks. I had NO idea that any surgeon would be ready to perform surgery at that time, but I ended up being wrong.

I was laying in my hospital bed watching Friends, I had all of my stuff packed up and was more than ready to leave the hospital. It was at that time that someone knocked on my door, it was Dr. Holsten, the trauma surgeon. He sat in a chair right in front of me and explained that he was prepared to perform my surgery the following Wednesday and I cried! I had been suffering for many months at that point and I knew that I was not going to get better without surgery. Dr. Holsten explained that this would be a rather lengthy operation and he tried to prepare me for it by telling me in detail what he intended to do, he then explained the risks. To say that I was scared would be an understatement, although I was more happy that this was finally happening.

My mom and grandmother had been bringing Brendan up to see me every other weekend. They always booked a hotel room close to the hospital and this worked out really good because Brendan would not have to hang out all day in my hospital room. He enjoyed going swimming in the hotel’s pool, eating at Bojangles (which was right next door to their hotel), and he also loved going to the river walk. However, that weekend fell on his dad’s weekend to be with him; I was heartbroken that the likelihood of me seeing Brendan before surgery was slim to none. I tried not to think about it too much, though the thought of me not seeing Brendan before surgery made me tear up. Although, I knew that my mom and grandmother were coming up to stay the weekend, so that cheered me up a little.

My mom and grandmother were running late getting to the hospital and I felt sad that they were probably going to have to leave shortly after they arrived, it was already around 8 p.m. Before they arrived at the hospital, I was pissed off because the hospitalist had just discontinued all of my medicines because he had yet to get the memo that I would be staying in the hospital. Actually, at the time he was not even aware that Dr. Holsten would be performing my surgery in a few days, as far as the hospitalist knew, I was still going home the following day. I ended up having to call the charge nurse into my room to explain to her why all my meds had been cleared, she then left my room to contact the doctor to get my medications back. The nurse told me that it would probably take a little while for them to show back up in the system, which didn’t really bother me any, I was just happy that she fixed the problem.

My mom and grandmother finally made it to the hospital to see me around 9 p.m. By this time I was even more nervous, the more I thought about surgery, the more anxious I would become. I was also still disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see Brendan before my surgery. As soon as my mom and grandmother arrived to my hospital room they sat down as I  tried to explain to them everything Dr. Holsten said to me. I remember feeling just about every emotion possible, I was happy, scared, nervous, sad, anxious, you name it, I probably felt it. My mom and grandmother had only arrived about five minutes prior to someone knocking on the door. My mom said that it was probably the doctor, but it wasn’t, it was BRENDAN! I was in shock, I immediately began to cry I was so happy! Brendan even walked in the door wearing a mask over his face, trying to look like a doctor, ha! My mom and grandmother sure did get me good! Brendan just laughed at me as I cried happy tears.

Becky (Brendan’s Meme) told my mom that she thought Brendan needed to see me before my surgery; needless to say, I was beyond thankful! As soon as he walked through the door my mouth just dropped open. I loved getting to enjoy time with my family, especially Brendan; being with him helped take my mind off of surgery. The time that I got to spend with my mom, grandmother, and Brendan, went by in a flash! I was sad to say goodbye but I knew that I would be seeing my mom and grandma soon after, being as they were coming up for my surgery. I’ll never forget Brendan walking through the door that day, even though I could not see his mouth, I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was smiling so big. Besides the day that I got to go home, this was the best day out of all of my days spent in the hospital over the summer.

I’m so glad that I had no clue how hard the next few weeks would be when I took these pictures. I struggled so much during that time but the struggle is what made me realize just how special times like these are. I take life for granted a lot of times, although my experience in the hospital last summer has made me more grounded, for sure. Brendan could never know the extent of how happy he made me that day, right now he still thinks it was funny that I started crying when he walked in the door…psshhh…boys ; ). I sure do love that boy, though!

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lazy days.

First off, Brendan called around ten Sunday morning and said the funniest thing. He spoke with mom before I talked to him and because my mom was sitting right across from me, I could hear just about everything he said. He is STILL hung up on Laynee; so of course that is what their conversation was about. It went something like this:
MOM: Well, Brendan… there are PLENTY other fish in the sea
Bren: BUT Nana, I am talking about a GIRL. I haven’t even said anything about going fishing… I am not even going fishing today. Well, actually, I might go fishing today; it is supposed to be really nice outside.

(face palm). OH Brendan…

& he was SO serious. He had no clue what Nana was talking about; this is what made it so funny!  Several minutes later he caught on to what she meant and was able to laugh at himself ; ) That boy makes my stomach hurt from laughing so much and most of the time he is not even trying to be funny. Bless it. ; )

Saturday, after Brendan’s baseball game, Jayla, my sister Kimberly, and Ansley went to Cochran. OH…on Friday night I asked Ansley if she would be going to Bren’s baseball game the next morning, she said, “I want to go but my mom and I might be going on vacation”, I said, “oh really? Where are y’all going?” and she said, “we are going to Cochran”. I then thought that I was going to lose my breath from laughing so much! In the odd chance that someone reads this and they are not from Georgia, Cochran is basically a one stop light town, it is very much in the country. Cochran is beautiful and I love the country but a popular vacation destination it is not. However, Kim and Ansley always have a good time out there so I am sure that they really do consider it a small vacation ; ). Ansley’s Nini and Papa, along with her aunt Patricia and seven of her cousins, live in Cochran. Ansley especially likes to fish and play non-stop with her cousins when they go out there.

Ansley spent the night in Cochran with her cousins on Saturday and Kimberly dropped Jayla off here at around 9 p.m. Jayla and my mom went to go get in the bed kind of early; however, I heard a knock on my door shortly after they went to get in the bed. The knock came from Jayla Hogan; homegirl wanted to watch Ramona and Beezus. Jayla, Ansley, and I have watched the movie, Ramona and Beezus, no less than 100 times;  it really is one of my favorite movies (which is a great thing because we probably watch it every week). I grew up reading books by Beverly Cleary that were about the life of Ramona; Ramona the Pest will always be my favorite book of her’s. I still have that book and I loved reading it to Bren when he was younger. My heart is happy now that Ansley can pretty much read it all on her own and it won’t be too much longer before Jayla can! I believe this is the first book that Ansley has read that did not contain mostly pictures…Ramona the Pest has a few sketches through out the book but that is it. So for this book to capture their attention, without pictures, says a lot.

On Saturday night I told myself that I was definitely going to go to church the next morning, no matter what. However, my girl Jayla Hogan decided that she did not want to go to sleep that night, instead she had big plans for us to party! She got out of bed around 10 p.m. and we then began watching Ramona and Beezus in the living room. Our movie went off at around midnight and as soon as it went off Jayla told me that she wanted a “midnight snack”. I offered her a pop tart but that wasn’t good enough, she wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. I fixed her a sandwich and as soon as she finished it, she decided that she wanted some chips, after her chips were gone she then asked for some kool-aid. My wishes of going back to sleep after she was done feasting for the night came crumbling down when she asked if she we could watch, Princess and the Frog. Ms. Thing was STILL going strong after that movie went off and I finally had to tell her that it was time for us to get some shut eye. By now it was close to 3 a.m. and oh…we were both camping out in the living room together. If you have never had the luxury of sleeping on a recliner, then know that you are not missing out; sadly, the only thing I missed out on was a good night’s sleep…but have no worries because sweet Jayla Hogan was sleeping peacefully on the sofa beside me. It took me hours to fall asleep but I think I finally crashed at around 5 a.m. Unfortunately, my body was not the only thing that crashed at 5 a.m. because it was around that same time that all hope of me attending church came crashing down as well.

After I was able to take a nap for a few minutes, in the comforts of my bed, our company arrived. Josh came over to our house to see if he could fix my sister Kasey’s car and his wife Sarah and their three kids came over to hang out as well. We had a really good time. Jayla painted my nails, Ali did my makeup and they both fixed my hair…I was spoiled ; ). I fixed them a picnic in the front yard, it was a beautiful day so we all enjoyed being outside for awhile and I think they stayed until around 4 or so. I really enjoyed getting to talk and hang out with Sarah and I am excited to see them all again soon. I think they might come back over this upcoming weekend, Sarah has two boys so I know Bren would love to hang out with them.

Brendan stayed the weekend with his Meme and Poppy so I am excited that I get to squeeze him big when he gets home from baseball practice today. I have missed him so much this past weekend, he brings me so much joy. I am sure he will talk all about his recent “heartache” and I will smile and hope he realizes that his mom is the only girl in the world who won’t ever break his little heart : ).

 

 

drama in paradise.

I guess I should begin this post with the same sort of disclaimer that I posted a few days ago. If you happen to be reading this by accident, I am not an evil person with intentions to sell my son out, per se. However, my little blog probably gets read by two people each week and those two people are family, meaning I am not disclosing anything in this post that they do not already know. I do not “promote” my blog on Facebook, or any form of social media for that matter. However, this little blog is my journal and I want to be able to look back on these memories in the future, no matter how much they might sting right now.

Brendan is my only child, my boy and anyone who knows me good in real life knows that he is rotten to the core. I feel like I need to apologize to his future wife daily for ruining him to pieces. I cook all of his meals, I still pour almost all of his drinks, I do his laundry and we even have this sweet language that we talk to one another in. You can say that I “baby” him and I would not even be able to argue with you about it. AND his eyes, they are just beautiful, they have slayed me from day one. If he wants to turn me into a pile of lush, he knows exactly how to turn his charm on, you could say that I am wrapped tight around his little fingers and you would be RIGHT. If for some reason he senses me losing patience with him, he instantly knows that if he begins talking in that sweet, innocent voice of his, then I just swoon. A few days ago I was getting fed up with Brendan because he was procrastinating on his homework but once he sensed me turning ill towards him he knew that if he looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes and curled his sweet lip under as he said the words, “I sick”, then I would soon turn to mush. That works like a charm, every.single.time. Even though I CLEARLY know that Brendan is not sick, it is just that sweet little voice that gets me each and every time. I’m a sucker, I can not even try and deny it.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I am a 72 when it comes to being protective over Brendan. There is something incredibly special about the love a mom has for her baby boy, no matter how old he is. Therefore, when he is upset, I am even more so; I can not stand to see him get hurt, it breaks my heart. And that takes us to right now. My sweetheart is heartbroken.  He is caught up in the silliest drama and he doesn’t know whether to be sad, angry or happy. A few days ago, I wrote about Brendan’s “love” for Laynee and how he had a huge crush on her. Well, today, March 19, 2016, I think those feelings kind of “crushed” him back. Brendan went to a party yesterday after school and he told me that he showed a guy at the party a picture of Laynee on Instagram. Matthew ended up following Laynee on Instagram and Brendan says that she sent him a direct message telling him that he was cute. I am not sure if that is the truth or if that Matthew kid is just trying to start drama.

This weekend happens to fall on a weekend that Brendan is with his dad and last night Brendan invited Laynee to go to Polly’s with his dad’s side of the family. Laynee told Brendan that she wanted to go but then today she cancelled after she found out that her step dad was off and wanted to hang out with his family being as he had not had a day off in a few weeks. However, Laynee asked him if he would go to the hockey game with her and her family tomorrow night and Brendan at first seemed interested. Brendan also tried to text Laynee but he received a message saying that the number that he had for her was not a cell phone number, but a landline. Now Brendan believes that she purposely gave him a wrong number and he is pissed. Although, Laynee’s mom is the one who gave me that number and she would not have purposely given me the wrong number. Brendan is twelve years old but today he seems to think that he is twenty two!

Although I can not stand to see Brendan miserable, I am grateful that he feels comfortable enough to talk openly about these kind of things. He has texted me throughout the day and has called a couple of times asking for my advise. I know that it is easier said but I still try and reiterate to Brendan that he will have several Laynee’s in the future. Brendan has gone from saying that Laynee is mean, to saying that Matthew is a horrible friend, to saying that he wants to cry…now he says that he is back pissed, ha! I think he more just wants me to listen to him instead of me shoving advice down his throat so that is what I am doing. I told myself that Brendan is already making me want a prescription for a sedative and he is not even a teenager yet! I am either going to need a nerve pill or he is going to cause my hair to fall out…or turn gray.

The sedative seems like best option out of the three…just sayin’ ; )